Whoops I just published again

George W. Bush currently has paintings on display.  There’s one of Vladimir Putin.  I’m glad he didn’t do him naked.

Idea for future project: paint nude series of world leaders

next project: world leaders shirtless series

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If you’ve got an extra large penis, you should donate a portion to Cocks of Love.

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Child looking up at group of adults:  “I wonder which one is the fun one.  I wonder which one will give me liquor.”

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“Biochemical, The Musical” – this could be a tuneful version of menopause.  Ethel Merman would have been perfect.

I know exactly how she feels.

I know exactly how she feels.

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Is it a bad omen at a beach wedding if there’s a tsunami?

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Jewish Existentialism:  all is meaningless, but I brought a sandwich just in case.

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Mature statement on my part to my 14 year old son after driving him to and from an ice skating date with his girlfriend:  “cuando dicko?”

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I won’t mind being reincarnated again.  I’ll know what they’re wearing ahead of the season.

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I was called Cracker by a Latina, and I liked it.

latin crackers

She made it sound so nice.

 

 

 

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Lost Lustre

Originally posted on Rise Up And Write:

I spied a shiny green marble
In an unexpected place
I cradled it, I coddled it
I wished upon it and magic happened
I took it with me and held it close to my heart
But I lost it at Walgreen’s.
I like to think it came into my life for a reason
It was there when I needed it
I shouldn’t worry about where it is right now
I just need to remember that it exists
And it loves me

© 2014  J.G. Rapoza

green_marble_ball_by_power_excelsior-d6ka0eb

View original

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Facing the Music (& Art & Sewing Equipment)

I continue to sort through the contents of my mom’s house. The below items (music/art/sewing–related) are available for sale or giving away. Please comment or share if you are interested. Soon I will post pictures of furniture and housewares.

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What’s better than four roses on an organ? Never you mind. This Lowry organ does power up but is not fully functional. (Now please stop thinking what you’re thinking.)

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This Yamaha P-70 electric piano (about 12 years old) is in good working order.

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Vintage Tandberg reel-to-reel tape recorder. Powers up but sound is tremendously muffled.

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Set of 10 exquisite pen and ink prints depicting musicians (mostly female). Descriptive text in German. I don’t know what it says or where these came from.

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Close up of German prints.

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Pillow and two vintage mic stands. The floor model has vintage duct tape on it.

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Klipsch speakers (still working). Vintage speaker of indeterminate brand. Monster cable with enough copper to feed two generations.

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AR Inc. vintage speaker. Probably not functioning, but I know you’re looking at that lamp anyway.

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OK, here’s the lamp. Perfect for the set of Mad Men!

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Pretty framed print with interesting texture. About 30″ wide and 10″ tall.

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Wooden plaque depicting Jews dancing. Made in Israel. Small scratch on left side.

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Wooden framed tapestry; part of a set of 2.

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The other half of the set.

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JVC receiver and dual tape deck; still functions. Sits atop a vintage brass stereo/LP holder. Also depicted are a functioning TV/remote, wooden picture frame, and some of a large record collection.

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Budapest and dolphins are trending online, but the record collection is mostly classical, with some pops, comedy and children’s stuff mixed in.

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Picture 1 of 2 – my mom’s music collection. Piano, violin, combos, vocal, classical, pops, Broadway, Jewish, children’s.

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Picture 2 of 2 of the music collection (sheet/books). Some vintage.

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Vintage Kenmore sewing machine in its cabinet. It was working fine the last time I saw my mom use it but that was over 20 years ago. I also have sewing/tailoring books/pamphlets as well as lots of thread/notions/fabrics/accessories.

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Vintage Photography Equipment

I am now the proud possessor of some vintage photography equipment.  If you know anyone who is interested in this stuff, drop me a comment.  I’m not sure if it’s still functioning (it may well be!), but it certainly would look awesome on the set of Mad Men.  Or in your bachelor/bachelorette pad.

A large leather satchel with attached lens holder.  Still in fairly good shape.

A large leather satchel with attached lens holder. Still in fairly good shape.

 

Another view of the satchel, with some vintage accessories, new in box!

Another view of the satchel, with some vintage accessories, new in box!

 

Inside of the satchel - four compartments for lens attachments, etc.

Inside of the satchel – four compartments for lens attachments, etc.

 

Canon and Yashika cameras in their original leather cases.  I don't know if any of this equipment works, but it looks nice.

Canon and Yashica cameras in their original leather cases.

 

Here is the Canon.

Canon.

 

Yashika.

Yashica.

 

Two more cameras....

Two more cameras….Ritacon/Pentacon and Voighander.

 

Ritacon/Pentacon.

Ritacon/Pentacon.

 

Voighander.

Voighander.

 

Lens and case - Vivitar

Lens and case – Vivitar

 

Lens and case - Enna

Lens and case – Enna

 

Two light meters with leather cases.  Again, not sure if functioning.

Two light meters with leather cases.

 

Workbench, black & white photo developing equipment, vintage slide projector with case and cartridge.

Workbench, black & white photo developing equipment, vintage slide projector with case and cartridge.

 

Slide projector, closer "view"

Slide projector, closer “view”.

 

Developer thingy, closer view .

Developer thingy, closer view.

 

Frank again.  Because of the symmetry.  Not available for sale.

An old Frank 45. Not available for sale.

 

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Voice of an angel

Rita (Rivkin) Oshinsky

Ma satin dress

~~ Came into this world July 13, 1929 ~~

~~ Left this world February 25, 2014 ~~

I miss her dearly.  I’m so proud she was my mom.

While at Hunter College in 1951, Rita wrote and performed a radio program that demonstrated her talent and joie de vivre.  If you listen, I promise it will make you smile.

Click HERE to HEAR “Musical Prescriptions” by Rita Rivkin 

 

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10×10 Comedy Show with Mike Vecchione headlining 2/21/14

I am thrilled to be in the line-up of this comedy festival show in Pittsfield, Massachusetts – the heart of the Berkshires!

10x10 Mike Vecchione 2.21.14

The same team that puts together the critically acclaimed Laugh Lounge comedy shows at Spice Dragon will be presenting the stand-up comedy segment of Pittsfield’s 10×10 Upstreet Arts Festival for the second year running.

The comedy venue for the fest is the club room at the top of the Crowne Plaza Hotel, 1 West Street, Pittsfield, Massachusetts.

Each night will feature 4 of the best local/regional comics, followed by a national touring comic! 

Promoted recently on Marc Maron’s presitigious WTF podcast, brilliantly funny Mike Vecchione headlines the show on Friday, February 21st (showtime is 8pm).

Mike’s credits are numerous, including several Comedy Central specials, his appearances on The Tonight Show and as a semifinalist on NBC’s “Last Comic Standing”, and he won People’s Choice Award at the 2010 New York Comedy Festival.

Here’s the line-up for the Friday night show, hosted by Thomas Attila Lewis:

  • Mark Jagiello
  • Jess Miller
  • Joanna Rapoza
  • Marty Caproni

It will be a great night of culture and comedy!

Please PURCHASE tickets here!

Cash bar will be available.

THIS IS AN ADULT COMEDY SHOW, SO PLEASE BE 18 YEARS OR OLDER.

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Fecal And Other Positions

Ever hear someone fart with a flourish?  They think they’re being fancy, but they actually just shat themselves.

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The most disturbing thing about those Howard Stern pay-per-view cable specials from the early 90′s is that they’re no longer disturbing.

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How are we ever going to know when James Carville is dead?

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Show me a rabbi with attractive congregants hanging on him all the time, and I’ll show you a hot mensch.

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Enquiring minds did not need to know “Lisa Marie Presley’s deadly postnasal drip exacerbates lifelong sinus condition”.

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The difference between your 20′s and your 50′s:  In your 20′s, when you find the guts to go into a porn shop on Seventh Avenue, and you see a reversible dildo, you say, “OH MY GOD!”  In your 50′s, you ask the cab driver to pull over for a minute, you walk in the store and say, “Oh, geez.  I’ve gotta catch a train.”

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When I’m having a humiliating day, I think of that poor woman who came home from work not realizing there was a surprise party for her waiting in her apartment.  She came in, put peanut butter on her crotch, and called the dog.  The most surprised one of all was the dog, who wasn’t expecting a peanut butter and tuna sandwich. Two great tastes that taste great together….to a dog.

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Some municipalities are building wi-fi instructure by laying fiber in existing sewer systems.  Isn’t that a bit redundant?

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I was in a diner with my young but worldly friend.  Observing the table across the way, he said, “Look at those people.  Don’t they look so married?  They’re hardly talking to each other, and they don’t look happy.”  I looked over, and said, “They are talking, a little bit. Plus, their daughter is sitting right there, so you should stop saying ‘cunty’ so much.”

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“I just saw Buddy Hackett in my closet!

My name is John Boehner.

Some people wonder how I’m so tan.  It’s not the booths – it’s the bourbon.”

"Ha ha, what a tan clown."

“Ha ha, what a tan clown.”

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I’m waiting for the Play Dough Movie to come out instead, because ladies prefer soft porn. #Legos2hard

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It’s funny how some people with no balls try to buy a dick instead.  #gunOwners

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And finally, is it “anuses” or “ani”?  I really wish someone would just settle that argument once and for all.

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