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Tag Archives: science
Don’t hate me because I’m lovable
Why has no one yet opened a chain of comedy club/restaurants with Hooters-style waitresses and called it “Titters”? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Emotions are like breasts. They’re meant to be felt. Also if you try hard, you can lick an emotion. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ My … Continue reading
Posted in Funny Irreverent Stuff
Tagged 5 Super Bowl Rings, administration, anthropologist, anthropology, antibiotic, anus, anxiety, aria, babas, babies, baby, basement, be sexy, bed, better to have loved and lost, Bill Belichick, bitch, boob, boobs, boring, bottle fed, breast, breastfeed, breastfeeding, breasts, Bromance, butt, childhood, chronic, chronic depression, coach, comedy, comedy club, compound, compound word, consonant, constipation, dating, defecate, dental procedure, dentist, depression, Dick, difference, dose, drugs, dude, emotion, emotions, executive order, existential dread, feel, feelings, felt, female, formula, gaggle, gang bang, geese, German, get laid, giver of life, gonads, grope, hand, hand on heart, happy, happy childhood, hat, heart, hell, Hooters, Hope, husband, ibuprofen, infant, infants, keep hope alive, laughing gas, lick, life, making love, male, Margaret Mead, mass rape, mean, medication, meeting of the minds, men, monogamous, monogamy, mother in law, Motrin, national anthem, New England, New England Patriots, nitrous oxide, nowadays, old poet, opera, opera singer, parody, Pats, pee, penis, pill, pinch, poet, poetry, poo, poser, President Trump, prom, quarterback, rape, relationships, restaurant, romantic, sad, schlock, science, scientist, secretary, self medication, seminar, serial monogamy, sex, sexual intercourse, sexy, shit, shitty, shorthand, show off, staff, stand-up comedy, super bowl, tatas, tit, tits, titter, Titters, Tom Brady, topless waitress, toxic, toxicity, toxicity levels, Trump Administration, trust, try hard, typist, uranus, urinate, use the bathroom, vagina, venom, vitriol, waitress, women, word, workers, you can leave your hat on
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Two Jerks In A Circle
Just to see if he was listening, I told my kid I saw a Cialis commercial with two gay guys. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Bruce Jenner proved once again that behind every great man, there’s a woman. The TV movie based upon his … Continue reading
Posted in Funny Irreverent Stuff
Tagged alternative universe, anal sex, Avengers, ball pit, British, British Monarchy, Bruce Jenner, Captain Kirk, Charlotte, Cialis, commemorative plate, commercial, dance, dancing, dingleberries, Etsy, Etsy SUCKS, facebook, gay couple, GE SUCKS, hemorrhoids, high school, innocent, Kardashians, Kardashians SUCK, Kate and William, kids, kids don't listen or maybe they do, Klingons, male/female, McDonald's, microphone, movie, nap, new royal baby, old dried pee, pee, philosophers, pillow, plates, Princess Diana, royalty, salsa, salsa dancing, science, scientists, silverware, solopsistic, son, splinter, Spock, Star Trek, surgery, take it up the ass, tequila, testing 1-2-3-4, thinkers, transgender, uranus, vaccines, vulgarity
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Atheist Kids Want Mall Grinch
I wonder if Grinch and Shrek were in the same play group as toddlers. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Today’s medications get stuck in your throat just saying them. Zaljang? Zolmitriptan? Zackackackackackackack!!! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ If I were young, I’d move to Denver to start a … Continue reading
Posted in Funny Irreverent Stuff
Tagged 30-something, 60, 60's cartoons, Aetna, Aetna HMO, agnostic, amen, Asperger's, atheist, atheist children, atheist kids, awomen, big pharma, blah blah, booming economy, car insurance, Chandler, chin hair, Christmas cards, cochlear implant, comedian, commercial, constipated, dating, deaf, defection, Denver, diverticulum, Down Syndrome, Dr. Oz, elderly, elections, Elizabeth Warren, email witness protection program, eyelash, feminism, feminists, Fox News, Friends, geezers, George Jetson, get stuck in your throat, gibberish, God, Greek Gods, Grinch, Gyro Price, Haiti, hell, hemorrhoids, Henny Youngman, HMO, human turd, humor, infrared light therapy, insurance, investments, John Denver, letter opener, Liberty Mutual, lower back problems, mall, Mall Grinch, Mall Santa, Massachusetts, medical coverage, medications, Mike Myers, Mitt Romney, Mormons, munchies, Nationwide Insurance, Nationwide is on my mind, Nicki Minag, Nicki Minaj, Nicole Richie, one liners, Paul Reubens, pea brain, Peyton Manning, play groups, porn stars, prayer, punchlines, red light therapy, restaurant, ridiculous, robots, Rocky Mountain High, Rosie, running for president, Santa, Santa Claus, Satan, science, screwups, selfies, Senator Elizabeth Warren, septic system, sewer, Shrek, spectrum, stand-up comic, Stradivarius, straight to video, Take my wife please, the camera adds ten pounds, The Devil, The Good Guy, The Grinch, The Jetsons, the mall, too much email, tv, typos, unsubscribe, vaudeville, vintage, violin, voila, witness protection program, yada yada, young people
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Find Your Joy Schtick
Before they found their schtick, Don Rickles was polite, Lenny Bruce didn’t curse, and Gallagher used a melon-baller. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Succotash sounds like a Native American word for “heap of puke we got white man to eat”. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Rock me like … Continue reading
Posted in Funny Irreverent Stuff
Tagged Bon Jovi, branding, corn, divorce, Don Rickles, drought, dust, dusting, emotional war, emotions, farts good for you, flatulence, gallagher, insult comic, lemon pledge, Lenny Bruce, Lima beans, mallet, melange, melon-baller, melons, Narragansett, Narragansett Indians, Native American, need rain, pledge, puke, rain, Rhode Island, rock me like a hurricane, schtick, science, smashing, smell your own farts, study, succotash, vomit, watermelon, white man, white men
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Tuesday Tirade
You Dumbed Me Down With Science: I recently helped my son at home with a science lab he missed in school, which included all kinds of measuring and timing of him walking different lengths and speeds. We often found ourselves … Continue reading
Posted in Funny Irreverent Stuff, Serious Stuff
Tagged "Weekend At Yogi's", agriculture, Arabs, bikini wax, brazilian wax job, buddhism, CNN, decorators, drunk whore, episcopalians, gay marriage, homework, inertia, iran, Israel, kid, labs, middle east, momentum, myspew, new fiction, not in my back yard, pierce morgan, reptiles, science, victorian homes, zen, zionists
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RangeleyMoose Droppings 